In the interest of brevity, I describe here in a very concise and deliberate manner an acocunt of some sexual activity that I was involved in a while back. 

Saturday - 10AM - I awaken from an alcohol induced slumber to a phone call from a girl that I had been hooking up with on an infrequent basis.  Said girl informs me that she would like some company  while she goes from bar to bar to find a new job.  I agree to meet her at her home at noon to aide her on her journey.

12PM - I arrive and we depart...she looks particularly hot today

12:30PM - We have abandoned the job hunt, apparently unemployment is a problem that can wait until Monday to rectify

1PM - We are now drinking and dining and I have the pleasure of buying the girl's lunch and drinks.  So now she has my company and the fruits of my labor in her possesion.

3PM - Officially intoxicated and time to return to her home to take care of business.

4PM - We are fucking...pretty standard really...great body, filthy mouth...nothing really stands out about the occasion except for her request to play with my ass.  I did not accept but thanked her for the offer.

4:30PM - Nut busted...the long, prideful march to the toilet to dispose of the condom ensues.

4:31PM - Toilet seat lifted...giant floating dump and toilet paper exposed.  Condom thrown in...any satisfaction formerly felt from orgasm lost...

4:32PM - Back at the bed...I pick up my clothing and proceed to dress myself...girl wonders why I am not as warm as I was prior to Operation Dispose of Condom, asks me to cuddle...I be-grudgingly embrace her while I count to three and then inform her that I only alotted three seconds of cuddle time in my day. 

4:32 and 3 seconds PM (Yes...I ripped this chronological format off) - I am on my way home and I can't stop thinking about the human digestive tract.  I am thinking sex may be ruined for me.  What was that shit doing in her toilet?  I thought the female anus evolved for input?

I never heard from this lovely lady again.  I don't know if its because I wouldn't cuddle with her...or because after I exposed the nasty dump...I decided to leave my condom floating in the nasty ass water to teach her a lesson the next time she entered that bathroom.  I think she may have been a tiny bit embarassed...