Essentially, this is just another story about me tagging some very fine ass about 2-3 years ago.  However, there is a colorful spin worth waiting for at the end.

Picture it, West Palm Beach in March 2006...me a young virile stud out on the town with a good buddy...

I bump into a girl at Bradley's Saloon that I had been fooling around with for several months but had been unable to convince to bed me because of her "moral obligations"...

The girl is out with a very attractive girlfriend which played out perfectly because my buddy Dan was able to keep her friend occupied while I dragged my hot makeout buddy out to the bank of the intracoastal waterway where she proceeded to publicly blow me and attempted stick her "morally obligated" fingers in my ass.  What a fucking hypocrite...

Anyway, it was at this point that I realized tonight was the night I would finally bed her.

...A little background about this girl...hot face, long blonde hair, perfect figure, pierced nips, strategically placed tattoos... a penchant for buggery, an apparent anal fetish...and a willingness to please.

Post-fellatio I told the girl we were leaving to head home.  She quickly invited my buddy and I back to her apartment with her girlfriend...but warned me that I was not going to get laid later...  I love a challenge...

We arrived at her home and there was a big fat girl in the kitchen that apparently did not approve of her roomate's decision to bring two wasted men home.  After a rude comment from the fatty, I proceeded to put Mama Cass (and her belly rolls) in her place by reminding her that she was just jealous that her friends are hot and have the opportunity to fool around with attractive men because they are not fat and bitchy.

The fat girl did not take kindly to my words and asked me and my buddy to leave...instead the girl I was seeing invited me upstairs to see her portfolio of artwork...I took it as a sexual invite and accompanied her to her bedroom.

Immediately upon entering she pulled off my pants and began to go to town on my cock again.  I then alerted her to the fact that I was going to rail her and she declined on the grounds that she was menstruating...

"No big deal", I replied as I pulled out a condom and proceeded to bang the shit out of her incredibly hot body.  The sex was amazing and I hardly remember climaxing because I was so drained that I immediately passed out.

Fast forward to 10AM the following day...I wake up naked and confused in a strange bed...take one look down at my nether region and let out a loud scream...

My entire lower body is covered with dried blood...My initial thought was that this bitch had gone crazy while I was sleeping and cut my cock off...I am talking alot of blood...everywhere

My scream woke her up...and when she realized why I was shocked she replied "I told you so"

Anyway, she cleaned me up with a towel and gave me a ride home.  I could barely speak during the ride home because i was still so freaked out by the chainsaw massacre that had apparently taken place above my body the night before.

While I never got to see her art portfolio, I sure got a feel for her artistic abilities and her menstrual splatter-painting techniques

I got home and scrubbed my entire body with a brillo pad and a mixture of soft scrub and rubbing alcohol...

The next week I went to the doctor to get myself tested for Hepatitis and a suite of other viruses...

...and yes, I am still clean

Moral of the story...menstrual blood is a force to be reckoned with...